The boy who was not able to love
by Missyr256
Summary: This is going to be a story of my favorite Teen Wolf character Jackson Whittemore. It will explain why he is always acting like an ass and the reason he can't care about anybody. Don't want to tell everything so just read :)
1. Chapter 1

This is the first fanfiction I have ever written so please be kind. I am always amenable to an advice so please review. And sorry for any grammar or word mistakes my mother tongue is actually german and I'm really not perfect in writing in englisch. Suggestions for improvement can help me a lot so please guys review ;)

I do not own any of Teen Wolf :(

This is not the first the first chapter it's an intro to the story. Enjoy ;)

"... You don't have to wait for someone to treat you bad repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future."

― Jane Green, Bookends

Flashback

Jackson never got the chance to know anything about love or what it's like to grow up in a loving family. When his parents died he was just 2 years old and he couldn't even remember how they looked. After his parent's death he ended up in an orphanage. It didn't took long for him to get into a new family bacause he was still very little and as everyone knows people prefer to adopt young children.

His first family seemed nice at the beginning but then the man lost his job and found redemption in alcohol. When he was drunk he used to beat little Jackson and no one was at home to protect the little kid from his hard beatings. On day when his 'mother' was bathed him she saw the uge bruises on his pale skin and asked him where he got them. When he told her that his 'father' has beaten him she was shocked and immediately took him to task. Of cause he denied everything and accused Jackson to be a careless and aggressive child who always got into fights in the kindergarten. His 'mother' believed him and didn't even bother to call the kindergarten teacher and ask if it's true. After this incident Jackson never told her agein whenever his 'father' hit him again.

From the date Jackson changed he retired from the rest of the world and got that little shy kid who would wince whenever someone raised his voice or talked to him loudly. After a while his 'parents' didn't know what to do with him anymore he refused to eat and got thinner from day to day. In the end they brought him back to the orphanage saying they couldn't deal with him anymore. Normally taking him back wasn't the first option but they could see how scared little Jackson was and so he got back.

Whenever a family came and want to see him he hid away. Until the day the Whittemores came to the orphanage. When he saw them it was already to late to run away so he was just standing in the middle of the floor not moving . Mrs. Whittmore was in love with that litte shy blond boy and his bright blue eyes form the moment she first saw him. She slowly walked over to him and little Jackson started immediately to shake.''Don't be scared of me sweetheart I won't hurt you.'' she said smiling at him. Jackson didn't know why but something inside him told him he could trust that woman. He took little steps foward until there were only a few steps between them. Mrs. Whittemore opened her arms and he huddled against director of the orphanage was speechless and stuttered ''H-h-he n- n- never d-did this before.''Mrs. Whittemore was smiling then she looked at Jackson and whispered something in the little boys ear and he nodded. From that date on he was staying with the Whittemores.


	2. Chapter 2 Alone

Chapter 1 Alone

11 years later

''When we truly realize that we are all alone is when we need others the most'' Ronald Anthony

Jackson Whittemore POV

Most people probably think I'm one of the most awful persons on earth but I don't care about that. To be honest I don't care about anyone in my life. Not about my 'family' which is technically seen not even my real family because they just adopted me, not about my so called 'friends' and not about my 'girlfriend' Lydia. Speaking of the devil I know I have to talk to her today cause I've been avoiding her all summer. She has been ticking me off all summer. She wants to talk about our 'relationship'. I don't know if she really is that stupid but if a boy is avoiding you for months it should be clear that you don't mean a lot to him am I right? I don't know why we are still together the last year has been awful. We have been fighting most of the time and I can't remember the last time we had a conversation which didn't end in a fight. It hasn't always been like that there was a time when we had been the most lucky couple in the whole school. But that is long gone. And to be honest I know it's my fault. I have treated her like a stupid ass most of the time. I could never tell her I love her in 3 years. I just don't believe in love. Love is something for pussys and I'm defenitely not a pussy. The best thing for both of as would be to go seperate ways. I am sure she would never do the first step cause she still hopes everthing could get back to normal but this is just a stupid dream inside her head. Today I will finally break-up with her. I don't know why but somehow I get this strange feeling inside my chest whenever I think about leaving her. It's not like I'm afraid of breaking-up with her because like I already said she doesn't mean a thing to me. If I listened to my heart only for one I would have known that this is the worst idea I ever had.

''Enough of this emotional crap for now I have to get ready otherwise I will d´be late for school and I hate beeing late.'' Jackson said to himself. After taking a shower and styling his hairs to perfection he put on his new 'Boss' jeans and his brand new shoes. After looking another few minutes for the perfect shirt to wear he eyed himself in the mirror and was satisfied as always with his mirror picture. ''Let's go to school can't wait to see Gaylinski and McAss'' he thought sarcastically.

A few minutes later he was sitting in his fresh painted Porsche and was on his way to school. When he arrived at school he couldn't believe some stupid idiot was standing on 'his' parking lot. ''Got to kick someones ass after school'' Jackson said to himself. He really had no luck today and ended up parking in the last row. He was already annoyed when a car hold next to him and Scott and Stiles were jumping out. ''Oh how could the day get any better''? Jackson spoke out loud. ''Jackson always a pleasure to see u'' Stiles said grinning widely. Jackson ignored him and headed to school followed by the two idiots who were busy making stupid jokes behind his back. He defenitely had no nerve for them today.

The lessons past quickly and Jackson got more and more nervous because he knew he had to talk to Lydia in the break. He was just thinking of her when she turned around the corner. ''This is going to be fun'' He thought sarcastically. ''Jackson come with me , we have to talk'' Lydia demanded and shoved him into an empty classroom.

She waited for him to begin the conversation. When she noticed he won't say anything first she started''You have been avoiding me all summer'' and waited for him to answer. Jackson refused to look at her. He didn't really had an idea what to tell her. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talking with her but he knew he had to. He hate to admit it but the thought of loosing her kind of scared the hell out of him. Lydia was getting angry.

''Jackson look at me when I am talking to you'' she screamed at him. ''You cant't keep ignoring me when I am standing right in front of you''.He finally looked up only to see her holding back some tears. When he saw this something inside of him broke and all he wanted to do was to hug her and tell her everything would be fine and that she should stop crying but he couldn't. No she would be better of without him he knew that for sure and that's why he did the hardest thing he could ever think about he looked her in the eyes and said ''I'm sorry lyd I just don't care about you anymore''. She looked at him shocked. How could he say something like that. He saw her hurted expression and his heart skipped a beat. But he knew he had to stay strong now. He would never be the man she wanted him to be but Lydia wouldn't ever let him go no matter how much he would hurt her and so it was on him to make that final step. ''Oh please stop crying like a little baby Lyd'' , Jackson said in a mocking voice. ''You and me was a bad idea from the beginning we never really matched with each other... I'm sorry'' ''Oh and it took you three years to find that out huh?'' She answered with her eyes full of tears. '' Oh Please you can't really count the last half year we haven't even spoken much with each other... damn get over it some things just don't mean to be forever'' and with that words he turned around and left Lydia alone crying her heart out. When Jackson finally got out of the room he collapsed in font of it. ''What have I done?'' he asked himself. He never felt so alone than he did in this one moment. He couldn't bear to hear her crying any longer so he stormed off the school.

"..And now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive"

― Keith Urban


End file.
